A key skill that will contribute to your success – Self Talk

It’s what you do 24-7-365. You can’t stop it and it has a profound effect on your success, not only in sales, but in life in general. Even though you might not know it, you’re already carrying it out as you read this.

It can build you up, support your success and make you a happier person. It can also, drag you down, contribute to failure and keep you stuck. It’s known as self-talk.

Self-talk is basically your inner voice, the voice in your mind which says things that you don’t necessarily say out loud. Often self-talk happens without you even realising it and can be a subtle running commentary going on in the background of your mind. But what you say in your mind can determine a lot of how you feel about who you are, as a sales person or as a sales manager.

So, what is positive and negative self-talk?

Positive self-talk is the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself and the things that are going on in your life. It is like having an optimistic voice in your head that always looks on the bright side.

Examples – “I’m feeling really confident today. ”
“Everything is going to be great, as I control my responses to everything.”
“Things appear overwhelming at the moment, and I know I can cope with it and make it all work!”

Negative self-talk is the stuff that makes you feel pretty awful about yourself and things that are going on. It can put a downer on anything, whether it is good or bad.

Examples-
“I feel really nervous about this meeting…I just know it’s going to go badly”
“Nothing’s going right today, and it will probably be the same tomorrow”
“I’m overwhelmed with things and it won’t get any better!”

Negative self-talk, as you can imagine, creates a vortex that is difficult to get out of. Because we focus on what might go wrong, we see things develop in that way. Our reticular activating system is designed to see these differences, and concentrates on bringing the results you are focusing on. Hence the term ‘self-fulfilling-prophecy’.

However, it’s not always possible to be positive all the time. This would mean you would live in a PollyAnna-ish world, where everything in the garden is rosy, with no negatives going on.
I have always loved Stanley Madwed’s quote: “Our subconscious minds have no sense of humour, play no jokes and can’t tell the difference between imagined thought and reality. What we continually think about will manifest itself in our lives.”

Our self-talk will manifest itself in the outcomes of our thoughts. So, what’s the best way to deal with this? Instead of thinking that we should always be thinking positively, think about these three ideas and see if they can be manifested in your sales patterns:

1. Listen to what you’re saying to yourself

This is the first level of emotional intelligence – becoming aware of our thought patterns, listening to our inner voice. Be aware of what the voice is saying and identify the feeling it induces in you.

2. Observe your self-talk

Listen to what the messages are that is coming from your self-talk. Ask yourself:
o Is there evidence for what I’m thinking?
o How would I guide someone else who thinks this way ?
o What’s the realistic way of looking at this?
o What perspective am I taking, and could there be a different one?
o What have I control over in this situation?

3. Ask different questions

The brain is simply asking questions every moment of the day, and the main question it asks is ‘What does this mean?” If you can ask a different question, it will drive your sales talk in a different direction. For example, if you find yourself saying one of the earlier negative statements “I feel really nervous about this meeting…I just know it’s going to go badly”, you could instead ask yourself “What do I need to do to ensure this meeting results in the best possible outcome?” The brain tries to answer every question you ask of it, so try asking positive questions.

Practicing your self-talk will prove beneficial on two counts. Firstly, you will begin to identify when a negative outlook can be monitored and driven in a different direction. And then you’ll be able to approach all situations from a different mind-set, which will allow your mind to seek and find different answers to the same problem.

The more positive your outlook, the more likely you are to see situations develop that will bring successful conclusions. Negative self-talk can always be over-written by positive, but it does take focus and conscious thinking. Make it happen, and you’ll see more successful results.

Author Bio: Managing Director of MTD Sales Training, Sean McPheat is regarded as a thought leader on modern day selling. Follow Sean online for more tips, advice and support.

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