“Don’t tell me you’re just like me. You’re not like me. I’m unique.”

He Is Back!

The apprentices may come and go, but the one person who’s guaranteed to make us laugh each time is Sir Alan. Whether you love or hate him, he sure knows his way around a witty one liner. Here’s 10 of the best one liners from the past 11 years of The Apprentice.


2 “Fair? The only fair you’re gonna get is your bloody train fare home.”

3 “If you nod your head any longer I’m going to put you on the back seat of my bloody car.”

4 “I don’t know whether you’re made of brains or b—–ks”

5 “You remind me of the final scene from the Wizard of Oz. You look very impressive but, in my opinion, behind the curtains there’s nothing there”


6 “It’s sink or swim, and you’ve most probably picked up by now that I don’t do life jackets

7“All I’ve heard from you so far is a lot of hot air, so in the interests of climate change you’re fired…”

8 “I hear your enthusiasm, you know? Great enthusiasm. A fly’s got enthusiasm but it doesn’t stop headbutting the window!”

9“As times have changed, you seem to have gone from anchor to w****r.”

10“There’s only room for one bigmouth in my organisation, and that’s me.”



The Apprentice 2015 starts again for the 11th season – 21:00 GMT BBC 1